i went to high school with this girl named kelsey and she married a guy she met while studying abroad in portugal and her facebook statuses are my favorite thing in the world.
THAT’S MY SISTER!
Also you forgot the best one
"What ever is keeping the boat floating."
"You mean ‘what ever floats your boat’?"
"Yea, that too."
HER SISTER FOUND THE POST AND NOW I FEEL KIND OF CREEPY I HOPE YOU’RE ALL SATISFIED
- gay boy: hey man you look good today
- straight boy: oh my god man what the fuck i'm not a faggot, i'm pretty sure this is harassment
- straight boy: [slaps girls' asses as they walk by] [asks them if they finger themselves] [pleads every girl to have anal sex]
"I have noticed that if you look carefully at people’s eyes the first five seconds they look at you, the truth of their feelings will shine through for just an instant before it flickers away. "